I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
