girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
