Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
