I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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