Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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