the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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