I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
