Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize