the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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