you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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