I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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