Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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