DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize