Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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