I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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