Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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