we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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