He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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