so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
