never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
