If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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