We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Even my vagina gasped.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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