Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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