This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
