jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
