sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I smell stomach acid.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
