used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
