I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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