guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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