I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
