Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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