theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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