You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
