Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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