so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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