.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
