Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize