we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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