Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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