How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
