why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Couch. On fire.
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