I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
