you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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