Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
