In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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