I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
