i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
