Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
