What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
