did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
