He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
