dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
