We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
