You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
