I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
