he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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