I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
