I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
