So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
