i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
