whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
