fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
