It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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