I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
