Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
