I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
