Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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